I felt my heart rate increase, my breathing become labored, and I struggled to regain control. My counselor reassured me that my feelings were valid and that I was experiencing panic attacks.
But that wasn't okay with me! I wasn't okay with my having panic attacks! With each attack, I fought harder, the attacks got worse, and my level of fear rose.
After 6 months of PTSD and panic attacks due to a wildfire, I came to a point where I had to continue to fight or surrender.
I babysat the 9-month-old baby of a friend; after putting her down for her nap, I sat down to work on a devotion for a lady's tea, and I felt the familiar uneasiness. I immediately prayed telling God I would never forgive myself if anything happened while I was responsible for the precious little girl.
"Where is your foundation?" God asked me, gently and lovingly.
"Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
The rain fell, the rivers rose, and the winds blew and pounded that house. Yet it didn't collapse, because its foundation was on the rock." Matthew 7:24-25
My father, a retired architect, raised us on Matthew 7, so the picture of a strong foundation came to my mind.
"In Your Son, God," I responded. The panic left just as quickly as it started.
My mental health journey continues, but I haven't had a panic attack in twenty years.
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